#104 Shalom Bayit: Keeping Peace in the Home

Peace, harmony, kindness, calm, love, and shalom in the home is an important value in Judaism. There are many ingredients to having Shalom Bayit in the home and we believe that there are three middot (values) that you can follow to help create Shalom Bayit in your home:

1. Speak respectfully to your family members (and vice versa)

2. Be a team player and be cooperative

3. Be forgiving, don’t sweat the small stuff

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#1. Speak respectfully to your family, be there for them, (and vice versa) and remember what the psalms teach: Hiney MaTov! How good and pleasant it is for brethren to live together in unity.”

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#2. Be a Team Player by Being Cooperative. 

 

#3 Be Forgiving and Don’t’ Sweat the Small Stuff

Have a conversation about what it mens to forgive and to not sweat the small stuff as you discuss this important text from Jewish tradition:

“Rabbi Natan said: “If one brings peace into the home, it is as though peace were brought to all the people of Israel.”

 

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Are you Contributing to Shalom Bayit? Take the “Shalom Bayit Mensch Challenge.”

Question A: When it comes to being helpful around the home, I am: 
1. Very Helpful (+1 point)
2. Kind of Helpful +(2 points)
3. Not very Helpful (+3 points)
4. a total LUMP (+4 points)

Question B: When it comes to my family, I am:
1. Respectful and Loving +1
2. Nice Enough +2
3. Stubborn +3
4. Selfish, I’m a drama queen or king and it has to be my way +4

Question C: When it comes to my parents, generally: 
1. They make the plan, I almost always go along with it +1
2. They make the plan, I generally go along but with some complaining +2
3. They try to make the plan, but I always have an opinion and we negotiate +3
4. They try to make the plan, but they do what I want them to do and it goes my way, usually +4

Next: Add up your score. Here’s how you rank:
3-4 points: A mensch at home, great for shalom bayit. Keep it up!
5-7 points: Mensch quality, can probably do more for shalom bayit.
8-10 points: Mensch potential, try to be more cooperative and less demanding.
11-12 points: You’ve got some work to do. You can do better for shalom bayit. Good luck!

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